cut snake

 

I discussed this a few weeks ago, and as mentioned below I have decided this tale should be called Cut Snake. Above is apparently page 3 of the story in which the four members of the household - Julian, Cherie (seen here reading a book called Cut Snake), the other woman whose name I presently don't remember, and Julian's son Dhani who he has part-custody of - are seen either dreaming or, well, reading a book. The whole thing is a bit rude, in a kind of passive way. I am not sure if Dhani's dream means he's wetting the bed or having a wet dream. The URST in the house, for which I lay the blame squarely at the feet of the massively hot Julian, is surely rubbing off on Dhani but it's difficult to be sure how old he is. 

So the main problem I have with this is there are, I now realise, pages or at least one page missing (I didn't help future me when I erased some of the page numbers, but I have some printed pages as well which suggest there were up to 12 pages, eight of which I have in printed copy, and two others in original). So the idea that I thought I would follow, of making this first chapter just a preliminary set in 2006 for a main story set in 2020+, is still doable but I am going to have to reconstruct the story from what I have before I go any further. But there's an upside to that, which is that I can possibly build into the reconstruction a bridge or two into the subsequent story, whatever the hell it may be.

The 'page 10' pencilled at the bottom makes clear that this (fig 2) is late in the first chapter. The drawing at the top right is confusing, though, because that looks like some kind of random sketch (of someone who as far as I know was not a character in the story, if that's important, which it probably isn't; basically, why is she there?!). What is happening in the storyline is that the boy Dhani has been abducted into the house of this awful couple, who clearly mean him harm. He has already shown himself to be living in a semi-fantasy world (I don't mean just dreaming of sprinklers) but when it comes down to it, he does actually escape (not just into the long grass/dry spaghetti of the backyard). I  see he is being told to get into a trunk with human (? humanish?) bones in it, which as he correctly states, is 'just melodrama'. 

If I remember rightly the story thereafter is that Dhani escapes entirely but does not return, although his father Julian believes/chooses to believe that he's 'in his room' when he's actually living in the bushes somewhere. But Julian's friend Basel is actually abducted. Back in 2006 I had Basel missing presumed dead, with no practical way of resurrecting him, but now I have other ideas and I think they might work. 

The early pages of this story were on huge - more than A3 - pieces of paper. Page 10 above was I think on a A4 size page, though I could be wrong (I called it an original but I lied. It's a photocopy from a sketchpad). 

What I was surprised to find worked for me assembling Persiflage was writing an actual script. I never would have imagined that would be effective. I guess that is my next step. I think it would be smarter to persist with this one (if I'm going to persist with something rather than start a new story from scratch) and so I guess I have to do what I did with Persiflage: transcribe the first X pages, identify what's missing and how I might do some infill, and then also how to move forward. 

The other thing I'm thinking might work is to move away from felt pens and into the world of ink. I have to admit the effect is better when it's done well, but I am still a little apprehensive of whether my drawing ability is up to the task. I guess you just have to keep doing it to know, right. 

😔I also just want to acknowledge the weird (?) aspect of both this character setup and I Am Not Your Superstar wherein both the characters of Cherie, and Desiree, are women with apparently all the awareness / tools of 21st century feminism who can't help but be besotted with a feckless man-boy who doesn't deserve any of their time. This might sound ingenuous but I was a massively different person in 2006 and I can't explain what that was about, and maybe I couldn't have explained it then. I would never say (because I would never think/feel/take the position that) feminists are really just silly girls who crave the toughness of a man, a stupid man or otherwise, and I am pretty certain that even in the deepest depths of my shallow soul, with all the taints and wounds of a half-century of life within the patriarchy always asking me to join it, join it, I would not believe in this as a social phenomenon; it's not 'real life' to me. Arguably I could have done the IANYS story as a man in a band with two girls, and he is hopelessly in love with one of them who treats him like shit. Hmm (that instantly gave me ideas). OK anyway I will work with my past self on this to an understanding.