John St Peeters is one of those guys: he sometimes (well, twice) tickled the charts’ arse, had his fans, kept his options open, still works, he’s only 61 FFS. Born Johnny Lo Piccolo, the child of Richmond greengrocers back when Richmond’s population was totally (well, it seemed that way) Mediterranean, he was an entertainer as a child performing mainly on accordion. I can imagine (I won’t say I’m imagining right, but I know you’re imagining what I’m imagining). He toured the world and made his mark, then as a handsome adult came back to Australia to be a different kind of star. He was sufficiently ubiquitous that one of TISM’s members took the name ‘Jon St Peenis’; TISM had bigger hits than John St Peeters, but less of a sustained career (but they were much, much MUCH funnier).
This song is a punch in the face, however you look at it. I prefer to imagine that it is purposefully written (and sung?) from the point of view of an unbelievable loser, the kind of person we would today describe as a ‘douche’. The male gaze was never so preposterously limp and shitty. In a nutshell it says: You’ll fuck anything, you even fucked me, but I won’t hold it against you because your magic vagina (‘magina’) accidentally caused me to fall in love with you, now I will ‘show you things you’ve never seen’ (my dirty laundry, and I don’t mean metaphorically) and you are selected to be mine. Just wow! I hope someone called up Maureen Elkner to do the response song.
NB great sax solo at the end, and as a proud owner of Mattel synsonics drums since 1982, I have to say – excellent use of synsonics drums for the appropriate evocation of ‘the squirts’.