Showing posts with label birdshit-encrusted pub steps. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birdshit-encrusted pub steps. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

monetising


As I have revealed previously I do potter around the back end of this blog a little bit trying to figure out for instance why some posts are exceptionally popular despite having no intrinsic higher quality than others (and continuing to marvel at how many people land here looking for information about the H. R. Pufnstuff theme or Amscol ice cream - in both cases, I can't really give you anything, I'm sorry). I also of course always want to check out where people are coming from, though I'm aware most of them/you aren't people but bots. That's your problem. 

Anyway anytime I'm lurking around at the back, I'm offered the opportunity to 'monetise' my blog, which I take to mean insert advertising into it. To be honest I've never considered this worthwhile really and I'm sure it will get me zero money (if I did make, you know, $2.35 a month, I'd give it to Save the Bilby or something). But it did occur to me that perhaps it would be interesting just to see if it made any difference to where people came from who read the blog, etc. I would consider doing it I guess just for the proverbial shits and giggles provided it was reversible. 

Any readers tried monetising? Any advice? 

Thursday, October 06, 2011

happy sixth birthday lorraine

Actually, this blog started a few months earlier than six years ago, closer to May 2006, I think, but I seem to have misplaced those earlier entries so this is as good a time as any to be the birthday. The laughs and cries we've had over that time! All the friends found and lost along the way. I'd particularly like to thank Danny, Marshall Stacks and Ann O'Dyne my three regular readers, though of course my particular partickler thanks go to Mia who has put up with all of this for so long. Also thank you to everyone who follows the 'birdshit-encrusted pub steps' label through blog posts, I don't know what it means either.

I imagine it is tremendously dull to read the meanderings of a 46 year old academic who finds himself so terribly fascinating for no obvious reason. I try to be funny but often of course this being the internet that is in itself no guarantee of nuthin'. Well, here's to another six - nay, sixty - years of this guff (how much longer will this blog go for? They have to stop sometime, apparently. I'm always amazed by people who do a few posts and then quit. I'm reminded of Sue Grigg, when she and I were about 20, marvelling at a couple about ten years older than us who had been together about ten years, who had broken up. 'I mean,' she said, 'why bother?')

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

reasons

I won’t say reasons to be cheerful as that is a cliché but that is probably my meaning. There are a lot of things around at the moment that are likely to make a 44 year old white man living in the suburbs of the large Australian city in which he was born feel relatively content. I am not saying it is as thus and shall always beest, and nor am I saying that the fact it is thus means it should always be. All I am is noticing this is presently the case. I don’t wish to be smug or to invite karma off smugness… OK disclaimer over.

I enjoyed seeing She’s out of my league. I thought it was really a pretty funny film. I have always had a sick leaning towards entertainment I didn’t have to think about much. It cushions and lulls me. I don't feel guilty.

We got this really big pumpkin out of our backyard. It was amazing. Mia reminded me it is not just a case of a natural accident, that she cultivated it, which of course I know to be true. I was thinking only yesterday about that annoying ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’ saying. It is annoying because a pumpkin we might otherwise have paid money for grew on a plant in the backyard. OK. It was delicious.

I am liking this Yo La Tengo album which came out I guess late last year and which I am listening to now on the tram.

I really liked Jim Crace’s latest book.

It’s autumn, my favourite time of year, and coming up to my birthday.

We had some children round our house on the weekend who were blithely and aggressively patting Charlie and she didn’t savage any of them once.

I’m getting an electronic drumkit for my birthday.

Also, eggplants are still frequently appearing in the backyard. These are eggplants that if you saw them in a shop you might buy them even if you don’t like eating eggplant. (I do, a lot) just because they look so amazing.

I have a great podcast regimen now, based on NPR, Radio National, and Radio 4. There is pretty much a new program for me every day, sometimes 2. Oh, also I listen to Boxcutters, which isn’t a radio program made into a podcast – it’s just a podcast.

I walked alongside the Western Ring Road today to the Airport West tram. It took about an hour. It was fine.

Alright now I am starting to think of more things and they are starting to be less marvelous and bug me so I will stop this list now. Thanks for your indulgence.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

craps and claps

Craps to - it's going to be 43 degrees on Saturday
Claps to - the norwegian rye I got at the Victoria Market on Saturday
Craps to - the fact that the facebook group opposing the term 'at the end of the day' has not stamped out use of the term 'at the end of the day'
Claps to - broccolini
Craps to - I feel a bit fluey but it can't be
Claps to - Lewis Mumford
Craps to - Julie Bishop. What a creep.
Claps to - the magpies outside the kitchen window this morning
Craps to - conference paper I never seem to have time to work on
Claps to - you for sharing my pain thus far. Have a grouse day.

Friday, September 12, 2008

hurrah! it's a 'thank you sadie friday'

It's a 'thank you sadie Friday'!!!

How did you get one of your scars​?​​​
cheese grater

How did you celeb​rate your last birth​day?​​​
I forget!​

How are you feeli​ng at this momen​t?​​​
bored, arty and zealous

How did your night​ go last night​?​​​
I was just writing, it was fine.

How did you do in high schoo​l?​​​
Not that well, but as well as the high school deserved.

How did you get the shirt​ you'​​​re weari​ng?​​​
I think my mother got it at the writer's festival in Adelaide a few years ago. It's not something I'd wear 'out'.

How often​ do you see your best frien​ds?​​​
not often​ enoug​h!​

How much money​ did you spend​ last month​?​​​
Heaps, probably.

How old do you want to be when you get marri​ed?​​​
38

How old will you be at your next birth​day?​​​
44

NINE WHAT'​​​S:​​​

Your mothe​r's name?​​​
Jane

What did you do last weeke​nd?​​​
New Estate launch. Sadie wasn't there.

What is the most impor​tant part of your life?​​​
all organs of the body conducive to life are as important as each other

What would​ you rathe​r be doing​?​​​
Drawing, but answering these questions seemed important a few minutes ago.

What did you last cry over?​​​
!!!

What always makes you feel better when you’re upset​?​​​
Dogs​

What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other​?​​
Her presence. Where is she?

What are you worri​ed about​?​​​
you name it.

What did you have for break​fast?​​​
rye bread, toasted

EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:​​​


Have you ever liked​ someo​ne who had a girlf​riend​/​​​boyfr​iend?​​​ I don't know what 'liked' means anymore, if I ever did. Do you mean secret crush?

Have you ever had your heart​ broke​n?​​​
Don't tempt fate, I'd say, by answering this.

Have you ever been out of the count​ry?​​​
Numerous times. (that was easy). Twelve times at least.​

Have you ever done somet​hing outra​geous​ly dumb?​​​
yeah I fucke​n recko​n.​

Have you ever been back stabb​ed by a frien​d?​​​
Of course. I've lived.

Have you ever had sex on the beach​?​​​
no and no (​liter​ally and the drink​?​)​

Have you ever dated​ someo​ne young​er than you?
certainly. it's wild.

Have you ever read an entir​e book in one day?
of course you idiot.

SEVEN WHO’S​:​​​

Who was the last perso​n you saw?
the bus driver on the 6:44 542 bus out of Glenroy. Or do you mean 'saw'?

Who was the last perso​n you texte​d?​​​
can't remember. maybe Mia.

Who was the last perso​n you hung o​ut with?​​​
other than work colleagues at meetings? Mia.​

Who was the last perso​n to call you?
Mia

Who is the last perso​n who texte​d you?
I'm not going to go and get my phone just to satisfy your banal curiosity. You're just a list.

Who was the last perso​n you said "i love you" to?
Probably some list.

SIX WHERE’S:​​​

Where​ does your best frien​d live?​​​
In my house

Where​ did you last go?
Pascoe Vale Road Market

Where​ did you last hang out?
As above. Or the State Library

Where​ do you go to schoo​l?​​​
I don't go to school any more.

Where​ is your favou​r​ite place​ to be?
At home.

Where​ did you sleep​ last night​?​​​
At home.

FIVE DO’S/DOES:​​​

Do you like someo​ne right​ now?
Shyep​

Do you think​ anyon​e likes​ you?
Shyah​. Everyone likes me.

Do you ever wish you were someo​ne else?​​​
Only Sadie

Do you know the muffi​n man?
I am the muffin man - if you mean what I think you mean.

Does the futur​e scare​ you?
In a sense, but only in a sense.

FOUR WHY’S:​​​


Why are you best frien​ds with your best frien​d(​​​s)​​​?​​​
Fate

Why did you get a myspa​ce?​​​
Becau​se it was the hip thing​ to do.

Why did your paren​ts give you the name you have?​​​
Least worst option they could both agree on.

Why are you doing​ this surve​y?​​​
Sadie made me.

THREE IF’S:​​​

If you could​ have one super​ power​ what would​ it be??
Is this an IQ test? 'My super power'.

If you could​ go back in time and chang​e one thing​,​​​ would​ you?
Just did.

If u were stran​ded on a deser​ted islan​d & could​ bring​ 1 thing​ what would​ you bring​?​​​
the material world.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:​​​

Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
I doubt it.

Would​ you ever shave​ your head to save someo​ne you love?​​​
How would this assist? If it's just that they're addicted to my hair, it's only a short-term solution.

ONE LAST QUEST​ION

Are you happy​ with your life right​ now?
What are you saying?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

on the road again

Casterton Aug 6

We got to the caravan park so late that I think we are going to get a freebie, the downside being we don’t really get what the $18 gets you, i.e. access to the shower/toilet block, which taunts us from across the small central park space.

Mia is up at 7, a most unusual occurrence, and already filled with the promise of the future: ‘I wonder if we’ll see some good op shops today.’ (NB it is easy to see them, but gaining access to them is another matter)

Last night we wandered the main street at midnight (causing attention from local policeman: ‘It’s a bit late to be out walking’ he said from the comfort of his 90s 4WD; we had already observed him prowling through the sports ground). At the end of the main street there are some amazing lights on the hill in a shape I perceive to be that of a bird. (The next day I realised it was the shape of the town's coat of arms-cum-logo). (Hi to anyone who came across this posting searching for 'coat', 'arms', 'policeman' and 'cum'.) Mia was agitating to go back and get her camera to get a picture of this phenomenon and then suddenly it disappeared – they turn it off at midnight.

Mia’s already joking: ‘Dear diary, day one of my ordeal’. We are going to the Casterton bakery which I know from experience is a fab place. I think it is called Herbert’s, you know, on the Melbourne (or would you rather say Hamilton) side of the town hall.

Eucla Aug 8

We spent the night of the 6th in Walleroo, a town in the northern Yorke Peninsula and in very nice accommodation (yes, we caved after only one night in the campervan and went to a hotel the next night). Then we went briefly through Port Pirie stopping only long enough for me to buy a fabulous jumper with the name ‘Teakle’ sewn into it. Our ambition was to head for Ceduna and we achieved this with some stress.

Ceduna was something of a let down, all told. I sort of imagined that somehow the Sand Pebbles record would all make sense and it would be some kind of retro paradise. But I think I am going to have to go back and listen to that record again, frankly.

On the SA-WA border we were stuck behind a station wagon where four teutonic teenagers in bad clothes (and one of them a really ugly guy to boot, and the other a girl with one of those tattoos above her arse that looked like the top part of a lacy g-string, making me want to get a tattoo across my eyelids saying ‘pull your fucking pants up’) launched into the eating of as much soon-to-be-illicit fruit as they possibly could before they were allowed across the border. Plebs. And as Mia pointed out they had so much stuff packed into the back of their wagon the driver wouldn’t be able to see out the back window.

An hour before that we spent an hour and a half at a lookout point just off the Eyre Highway where Mia painted a picture of the cliffs and I fed a bullant some cheese (it was just hanging out at the base of the rubbish bin, so I plonked this big bit of cheese in front of it; it fondled it and kneaded it a bit, then it turned around and had to wipe cheese off its feelers and then, it being a bit windy generally, it blew a few body lengths along the base of the rubbish bin. I thought perhaps the bit of cheese was too big for it, so while it was away from it I broke it (the cheese, you fool, I'm not a sadist) in half. When I came back a short time later half the cheese was gone and no bullant.) I also enjoyed spending a bit of time putting crumbs and crusts on top of the rubbish bin, which were gone as soon as I turned my back but I wasn’t sure what was taking them, I was hoping it was the sweet little sparrowesque birds that hung around in the carpark there, blending in with the greeny-grey gravel.

Eucla is the first town you come to in WA, 12 ks inside the border. We actually had decided we would stay at Border Village, but we must have both blinked at the same time because we missed it. Anyway Eucla seems alright. We won’t know, because we’ll be off before the sun comes up, heading for Norseman.

In Ceduna we went to two good op shops, I bought pants in each, Mia got a red bag, I bought a jumper in one too. We had breakfast at the Cactus Café which I would recommend when you are next in Ceduna. It has an interesting range of foods including Mexican, bacon and eggs, and focaccia. Also the menu outside advertises ‘FRIED RICE!!’ The night before we went to Billy’s pizza and pasta (the lady in the Ceduna Foreshore Hotel, which had stopped serving dinner just before 9, recommended it because ‘they’ve got all kinds of food there’). I probably had high expectations of Ceduna and shouldn’t have.

What I liked better was Kimba, which is half way across Australia and where we spent a bit of time particularly at the museum. The museum is funded by the community hotel (at least, a plaque in the archives section seems to suggest as such) and comprises a collection of mainly corrugated iron sheds and some weatherboard/wooden buildings which are either reconstitutions or approximations of buildings that used to exist in Kimba.

Kimba was created in 1915 but wheat was first grown there in 1908, so it’s having a centenary of sorts. We were shown a number of intriguing artefacts, including old tractors, stationery engines, harvesters and other machines related to the process of harvest. Additionally, they have two former schools, a general store building and an old settler’s cottage. Restoration of the various implements, etc seem to have been undertaken by school students and/or the elderly gentleman who showed us around. He was at a certain point joined by another man of roughly the same generation who appeared to be almost on the verge of subverting our host’s tour. This was quite funny in a way but also strange (our host did not directly acknowledge this person at all).

At the Kimba 'roadhouse' the woman behind the counter really did have a picture of Kimba the white lion on her, well, breast.

I am not sure why I avoided the charms of SA for so long (five years ago I wouldn't have touched it with yours mate). I am now quite a convert. And of course the Yorke Peninsula is like a homecoming for me, with my German and Cornish ancestry; they’re all Ger-Corns there. But the towns along the Eyre Highway all have their quirks and charm.

Along the way we have been reading of the Motley Crue book which Shane kindly lent us for the journey. So the landscape is somewhat imprinted with the various absurd and awful doings of Mick, Nikki, Vince and Tommy. I wish we would find a Motley Crue cassette somewhere along the way so we could listen to it in the car, although I have always been fairly resistant to their dubious charms aside from ‘Kickstart my heart’. But all I have found is a Prince tape, not that that’s anything to be sneezed at. (Later: we discovered the tape player in the campervan doesn't work anyway, and we had 11 hours of a Robert Drewe novel to listen to and all).

Mia just reminded me there is a ruin in Eucla – the telegraph station. I hope we get to see that; it’ll depend on when the sun comes up and whether we’re still here. (We weren't.)

9 August



This morning at one of the petrol stops a guy and Mia had a discussion about the thing we had just started noticing – drivers waving to each other. ‘It only happens in WA’, Mia said. He agreed. ‘The same people won’t do it once they're in SA,’ he said.

Still reading of The Dirt, I went through every CD in one truck stop collection to find every band mentioned in The Dirt except Motley Crue, who were the ones I wanted to hear (again). Not that I necessarily think I will suddenly love their work after reading their book (in fact, I might hate it more). But it’s INTERESTING.

Later: I have now completely read Judith Lucy’s book about her family which I would highly recommend to you if you like Judith Lucy or just stories about terrible dysfunctional families and the people they churn out. I read most of this while Mia was doing a painting of the red dried-up bed of a lake somewhere about 100 km east of Norseman, where we are now. We are staying in the Railway Hotel, a curious establishment which the proprietor, Ron, has been maintaining in a special way for six years now. It is quite an extraordinary decoesque (but I can’t really put my finger on what I’d call it, architecturally) building; it actually looks more like a hospital than a hotel, though I’m pretty sure it was always a hotel. There is a courtyard with rows of small rooms looking into it and rows of verandahs on three sides looking out. There is something established as an art gallery upstairs (we haven’t been up there) and in the main bar, where we had dinner, they showed the film Speed, always a pleasure.

We are in one of the ‘ensuite rooms’ which has an adjoining wall to the next room so thin I am on very intimate terms with the occupant; though I haven’t met him as such, I have heard him clear his throat on a number of occasions, fart rather wimpishly, bang what sounds like pots and pans and watch what sounds like a television show based on police radio. Mia thought she heard him masturbate too ('at first I thought it was the dripping of a tap, then after checking the tap I realised it was a kind of slapping sound').

10 August

We are now in Merridan, in yet another hotel that has the feel of a murder having taken place the previous week and another due to happen tomorrow. More annoyingly, there is also a feel that the proprietors are saying 'you dickheads, you have no choice'. Today was mainly driving and discovering - no surprises here, surely - that rural WA doesn't get up to even unlock its public toilets on a Sunday morning, much less provide the weary traveller with, for instance, breakfast and coffee. We managed though, and Southern Cross did actually ultimately cater to our requirements - mine was a massive coffee and a salad sandwich cut into quarters in the way hypothetical mother used to do it.

We are 3 hours from Perth but decided not to have a mad rush into town, instead we will go slow tomorrow taking pics and visiting oppies and get there in our own sweet time. And it will probably be sweet, I'm guessing.

15 August - in Perth

Probably the most delightful city you could be in in August. Of course one gets a little cranky with the subtly different elements and you can't use a $20 note in a ticket machine at the station etc etc but why gripe. I spent a very pleasant evening last night reading a 1981 memoir of Dave Warner's early years. Bliss.

I may say more about Perth anon.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

hidden treasure

I wasn't tagged for this meme, but I'm going to do it anyway, because I feel like it. So there. And those previous three sentences and the Qs below and one or two answers taken from Ampersand Duck; see the link at sidebar.

What was I doing 10 years ago?
Second year of PhD research. Conferences, maybe my first teaching forays. Mia and I living together for first time in Hartwell, I think, with Fiona and Guy, and perhaps later that year in Brunswick on our own. Or perhaps Brunswick happened the following year.


Five snacks I enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world

1. Olives particularly stuffed with something.

2. Booja mix or whatever they call it.

3. Tick tocks.

4. Pakoras.

5. Corn chips


Five snacks I enjoy in the real world:

6. See 1-5 above

7. Rice crackers

8. Rye bread

9. Ryvitas

10. The muffins from castros, particularly sour cherry


Five things I would do if I were a billionaire:

1. Buy houses and rent them cheap but fair

2. Build a model suburb

3. Squander

4. Keep the vast wealth a secret so we didn't have to move

5. Spend time in South America and Iceland and, er, Romania and Africa. And both Koreas and of course many parts of Australia.


Five jobs that I have had:

1. Journalist

2. Bookshop servist

3. Writer of computer manuals

4. Lugger

5. Christmas card designer


Three of my habits:

1. compulsively charming

2. saying 'would you like a little coffee?' (so I have been told, but actually, I have never said this)

3. coming back into the house a minute after I have left because I have forgotten something


Five places I have lived:

1. Richmond, Vic

2. Sandy Bay, Tasmania

3. Chippendale, NSW

4. Annandale, NSW

5. Bloody London

Thursday, April 17, 2008

birthday

I think I have pretty much decided not to have a birthday. It was a tough decision as I have tended in recent years to grin and bear the birthdays but 43 just seems so nothing that I can't get interested even in ironically celebrating it. However, I will permit myself the luxury of reflection, insofar as, I feel that at 43 I have many reasons to be relaxed and comfortable, even smug and smirky, with a Good Job I enjoy more than I have ever enjoyed any job, a valid, creative and delightful Life Partner, a solid and appreciating Home, Fine (even Rude?) Health, many interesting projects on the boil such as forthcoming conference, books to be written/otherwise facilitated, And So On. I pretty much got what I wanted and while we are strangely feeling the $ pinch more than ever at the moment, and I would not mind a new stove and some shelves in the living room, I strongly suspect these will be resolved with time, particularly if I do something about them.

Smugness over, it's back into whining and carping territory again.

Why do people always, etc etc

Friday, March 21, 2008

spandaubtful

Actually looking at Chant No. 1 on youtube it isn't quite as brilliant as I remembered it - it's all too slick - though this clip is pretty good, particularly the bit where he's looking in the mirror, which is probably what they teach you on day one at film school but I'm still impressed. I remembered somehow this morning there's one other Spandoo song I really like, which is 'Confused', a track on their first album, much better than the rest of the tosh on that record but that's not saying much it's good anyway. I am rather surprised that I ever took the time to listen to that album and make any kind of judgement, particularly since, looking at it again on Wikipedia I notice that a la Borat it has that very annoying device in the title banner of using cyrillic Ds as As. Now if you want to talk about crimes against typography, and I know you do, there is one.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

connex is shit

So it only took me 3/4 of an hour to get to work this morning starting with the 7:57 express train from Broady and utilising the hot new bus from North Melbourne. Great, huh? It is actually a pretty good time. But it would have been 10 mins less if the express train hadn't stopped for 10 mins about 1/2 a k outside North Melbourne station. What on earth is the point of putting on express trains - which ostensibly inconvenience a few at lesser used stations to the advantage of pushing through a larger amount of passsengers - when in fact all the time saved is squandered just before the end of the journey? The train is still packed, people were left standing, obviously irritated. I used the time wisely to call Connex and complain, I expect a response to my complaint in seven working days, by which time I hope I will be a little less irritated, but the fact remains, there is no reason for this happening, only excuses, and even if the excuse is a baby was asleep on the rail line with its head on a pillow on the track and the Connex employees didn't want to wake it up so they had to be extra careful, that can't always be the reason for delays, and in fact, the only real reason that I would find acceptable is if Connex called me back and said the reason for the delay is we are shit, and even then I wouldn't be happy unless I had it in writing.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

wisdom of the ages

Today it struck me that people are looking more and more like other people. For instance, a couple of days ago on the train I saw a man who looked exactly like Adam Sandler. Of course he was playing up to it by having the same haircut. But other people are looking more like other people, other than themselves. I think it is part of God's Great Plan to have us all eventually looking like one person, though I am not sure who.

I have been listening to a few BBC programs the last few months, and I think they know because they keep talking about the people round the world who listen. I listen to The News Quiz, Just a Minute (an old favourite from my early teenage years, Clement Freud is still a beaut) and Thinking Allowed occasionally and In our time. I love the peremptory way Melvyn Bragg begins In our Time, don't you.

I mean none of the serious stuff is a match for Late night live etc, by the same token if we're talking Radio National, it beats that spurious NPR bullshit to death with its own stupidity (those people are so frigging smug). Honestly, I was listening to an NPR chat last week on RN and the woman talking was explaining how she explained conciliation of some sort to her granddaughter it was so vomitous I literally was annoyed. Who are these fuckwits.

Meanwhile, the drawn-out departure of Janae from Neighbours continues. Despite her absurd taylorcottered name, Eliza Taylor-Cotter is one of the best actors Neighbours has seen, and Janae's twists and turns have been fun from the beginning (now she has generally forgotten she isn't supposed to pronounce the g in 'frigging', 'listening', 'talking' etc, that fakish workin' class speakin', she's even better). To compensate, the producers of Neighbours are giving us triple-dose Carmella, one of the least appealin' characters in Neighbours evah, and her freakin' baby Ecoli. Puke!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

orbostttttttt

(two days ago)

It wasn’t exactly a marathon drive, or even really a marathon day, but it seems to have been action packed. Hung around Bega until 2ish, first with morning meeting concluding workshop, then various fieldwork in Bega, then drive to Cooma to pick up hire car, after which I was on my own, then drive to Bombala then drive on to Orbost, which is where I am right now.

Bombala has a wonderful cinema, called the Olympia, which seems to be in fairly original condition (and is also for sale!) It looks like someone lives there. They also have a great looking pub which is also for sale, and the front part’s covered in birdshit. Why don’t we all buy the pub and the cinema, and go and live in Bombala? I would so like to do that. We could show French cinema in the cinema, and make the hotel into a macrobiotic commune. I wish I was joking but I’d love that. Plus I wouldn’t have to blog anymore because you’d all be there.

A few choice moments from the day, with the names (of towns) removed to protect the guilty:

One of the places I visited today had a break in recently. What did they take, I asked. ‘Grog,’ was the reply, ‘so you can tell what colour’. (i.e. you can tell what colour the burglars were).

Went in to a CWA. It was decked out not exactly as if it as still 1921, but certainly it was oldened up, right to the piano on a little stage at the end of the room. Called out hello a few times, no-one there. I bought a teddy by leaving $5 in the place it had formerly occupied. Later on seeing the teddy some of my colleagues also went to the same CWA. The lady who ran it had retrieved the money and explained her absence by saying she was either asleep or had been watching her serial out the back.

Went in to an art gallery, council-operated apparently but all the art was for sale. I was actually there because I was told the man who ran it had a photograph I wanted a copy of, but he wasn’t there. The lady who was looking after it said, do you want a list of the prices as you look around. I said no it’s OK. She was really insistent though, and said ‘I think you’ll be quite surprised’, etc. I looked around most of the art was pretty awful though there were a couple I really liked – so, like a lot of exhibitions really. The prices were from the high hundreds to the couple of thousand, and the prices didn’t really correspond to the quality, in my opinion, but that’s OK. Anyway I was done in about five minutes and took the list back and she said, ‘were you surprised?’ and I said, well, my wife’s an artist etc. And she said something like, ‘I can’t believe what they’re asking some of them – it’s ridiculous. My daughter’s a ceramicist, I’m amazed by her prices too.’

So, folks are funny in the country, I guess.

On the way between Bombala and Cann River I saw a dingo (unless it was a Tasmanian tiger) and a wallaby. The dingo/tt was running across the road, and the wallaby was standing by the road just being street. Also I saw a lot of unidentifiable roadkill. The carrots I bought in Bega went brown after two hours in the car (!!) so I wanted to give them to a horse, but do you think I could find a horse between Cooma and Orbost? No, I could not. No horses between Cooma and Orbost. Tell your friends.

Now I am going to watch Diamonds are forever. I don’t feel I’ve seen enough James Bond films in my life. And I am going to drink the last of the red wine.

a new wings compilation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'WINGS is the ultimate anthology of the band that defined the sound of the 1970s. Personally overseen by Paul, WINGS is available in an ...