neighbours 2012

Monday: Karl and Rhys meet Rhys’ mother (well, Rhys has met her before) a thirty five year old paraplegic who presumably had Rhys when she was about eight. Mia just pointed out that every time they have an outdoor scene there’s bellbirds on the soundtrack. Rhys’ mother has spinal degeneration, which is why she says the words ‘spinal degeneration’ carefully and cautiously as though she was talking a foreign language. Here’s Audrey, the dog whose name I was uncertain about, who seems unable to get out of her basket. Rhys has a popeye chin. Dig that tattooed guy with the mobile phone at Harold’s table when Karl and Susan had their Audrey chat. Callum has a picture of Sonya on her t-shirt. Does he know she’s his real mother? I was always a bit confused about that. Hey, Kyle and Callum, great chemistry. Karl has towels in his office, Room 23. Hey, Rhys just quoted Corey Worthington, kind of, when Kate told him to take a good long look at himself and he said ‘I do, every day’ then something else I can’t remember but quite a bit like what whatsername said to Corey Worthington. I wish I wrote for Neighbours.

Tuesday: Labby and Stav are – get this – to me, kind of annoying. Did you watch The Loop last weekend? I really enjoyed it, it reminded me of a lot of things, it didn’t go on long enough for me though, admittedly I started watching it about an hour in. Now Neighbours has started. Sophie in the opening credits should reflect Sophie in the show – the mature young lady. I wonder what’s going on with miserable Kate. Also, I wonder why Kyle’s got all this weird white shit all over his flanny. Also, why is Paul so into Kate doing office management. Does Andrew ever think about his dead brother? That kind of thing ruins some people’s lives. He has about fifty other siblings anyway. Summer was reading Truman Capote, but I’m not sure what. Corey is a crazy liar. Green girl brought a coke to Sophie and Corey’s table but did not do or say anything to expand her storyline. Oh, I saw her again and it wasn’t green girl at all, I guess they all wear green t-shirts in that establishment.

Here are Erin and Kate drinking amongst the reeds. Erin is a really annoying person, I've figured that much. She and Kate are going on the road, with 'a hot guy to do the driving'. Jade just asked Kate to a dance party in St Kilda and I thought she said Dad's party in St Kilda and I thought well, who's Jade's dad? That got me nowhere and then I thought maybe Dad's Party is a club in St Kilda, great name for a club. But actually she said dance party, one more example of how what you misunderstand in Neighbours is actually much more interesting than what is actually there. I mean Dad's Party isn't great, as a club name, but it is 20 times greater than what was actually said, right?

neighbours 2012

It’s the actor who plays Erin who has it tough. She’s the one who has to put forward this thing about being flattered, confused and thrilled when Dr Rhys throws out these sort of full-on hardcore capital H hints about how he Really Likes Her.

‘My brother took me to the Brink last weekend at St Kilda’ Corey says to Sophie. Sophie has apparently seen Zero, so I guess she is older than she looks – they split up around 32 years ago. Maybe she meant Xiro, I think they split in ’84.

Lot of product placement for Harold’s Store going on – close-ups on uniforms and the shopfront. He should open a chain. I wonder who the girl behind the counter is – she looks like she has a story to tell. I hope she appears again soon.

Kate has Sophie's stationery list for Year 9. I am not quite sure why this requires P S Y C H O music, or the megadramatic grimace on Kate's face as they go to ad break. That was almost blue steel!

Then I changed the channel. It was great though! I can't wait for tomorrow's.