Thursday, August 11, 2005

get scum like me off the streets

When I kill someone I will have half an hour to establish an alibi via Blogger, as it consistently insists it's half an hour earlier than it is. 'I couldn't have killed old man Downer' I will snort, slackly, 'though he sure lived up to his name - we all wanted him dead in the compound. But look - I was posting to my blog at exactly the time that the person who matched my description stabbed him in the eye with an icicle. ' The posting will be called 'Life sux'.

My story will check out.

As I leave the prison cell I will make a comic remark about the 'i' part of 'icicle' and the fact that it sounds the same as 'eye', but I haven't quite figured that out yet (it also contains the word 'sick'). They will arrest manic amphetamine user street musician Jon Michell instead.

Later, I will be caught when some detective's nerdy kid complains that Blogger makes everyone half an hour sooner than they really are. As they strap me into the electric chair a detective will make a pun using the word 'blog' - you know, 'my car got caught in a blog', or 'throw another blog on the fire', or whatever dude.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"It's Chinatown, Jake"

the early 70s was all juxtaposition

October 1970, everyone had their arms out in the air, from Barbra to, um, whoever that is on the left, to Thumbelina. This is from the Sprin...