Thursday, August 11, 2005

get scum like me off the streets

When I kill someone I will have half an hour to establish an alibi via Blogger, as it consistently insists it's half an hour earlier than it is. 'I couldn't have killed old man Downer' I will snort, slackly, 'though he sure lived up to his name - we all wanted him dead in the compound. But look - I was posting to my blog at exactly the time that the person who matched my description stabbed him in the eye with an icicle. ' The posting will be called 'Life sux'.

My story will check out.

As I leave the prison cell I will make a comic remark about the 'i' part of 'icicle' and the fact that it sounds the same as 'eye', but I haven't quite figured that out yet (it also contains the word 'sick'). They will arrest manic amphetamine user street musician Jon Michell instead.

Later, I will be caught when some detective's nerdy kid complains that Blogger makes everyone half an hour sooner than they really are. As they strap me into the electric chair a detective will make a pun using the word 'blog' - you know, 'my car got caught in a blog', or 'throw another blog on the fire', or whatever dude.

1 comment:

boy said...

"It's Chinatown, Jake"