Yesterday outside my office: 'Dude, that smells like asparagus... juice!'
Later: 'So, do you drink a lot of asparagus juice?'
This morning on the tram which has stopped at a tram stop, woman on her mobile: 'Hi I'm on the tram which has just stopped, I don't know why.' Shortly afterwards, she said 'I'm at Grattan street, can I walk there from here?' only she pronounced Grattan as (au) gratin, when it should be pronounced like, you know, Michelle Grattan. I could possibly have forgiven this second loud pronouncement only the girl sitting facing me was rolling her eyes and silently laughing and I felt I had to conspiratorially empathise commuter-listening-in-to-dumb-phone-conversation-to-commuter-listening-in-to-dumb-phone-conversation. So I condemned the woman on the phone.