I have done so much blogging on LC over the years I am sure I have repeated myself many times. I have probably even repeated that observation that I am sure I have made before, that when I discover I have repeated myself fairly comprehensively I feel happy that it seems to indicate I am being truthful. I am sure I have also posted this so I won't make a big deal about it but I still enjoy it.
2017 has got off to a fairly shit start. I remember yonks and yonks ago a somewhat introverted acquaintance telling me that he was surprised by the candid nature of this blog, and that I was then surprised also because I didn't think I gave much away at all, though I suppose it's in the eye of the beholder right. My future biographer(s) (hi) are going to have a lot of work getting to the bottom of the stuff I post here, and reading between the lines, and etc the etc. Because there's seriously not much revealed, and this is probably even truer of the last three years' complete car-train-bus-helicopter smash that my turn o'the mid-century life became, more or less entirely through my own efforts, though it has to be said, people are fuckin' weird. Have you ever noticed that?
I'm sleeping poorly. I have temporarily taken myself off that rad diet (which was so fuckin' working - don't worry I am going back) just to get through the next few days of grant application writing, which needs oodles of self-indulgence and sugary stuff. I am not enjoying the heat and I am not enjoying the various stresses of going back to work, almost as much as i hate gritting my teeth so hard they almost crack when people ask me if I've gone back to work yet, yes people still believe I work six months of the fucking year. I seriously work harder than anyone in a white collar job I know (I possibly don't know anyone not in a white collar job - not going to overthink or even plain old think that one) as I told an uber driver (my first ever) this morning, I can't relax or take holidays and that's actually fine.
There's a lot of sadness going round but the saddest thing is I can't even really be bothered finishing this post properly. Maybe one day.