Monday, May 14, 2007

you know what I hate!?

Rodney Rude for one, but that's another story. What I hate is the following:

'At the end of the day'

Back in the old times, a pause consisted of a drag on a fag, or hawking up a big gob of phlegm, to damp down the roads - a kind of community service. These activities were great conversation punctuations, so you could think of what to say next. These days people seem unable to adhere to those good honest activities so instead they say 'at the end of the day'. It's kind of like turning off the photocopier when it's bogged down in something you never asked it to do in the first place, and turning it back on: 'reset'. 'At the end of the day' is the carriage return of our time.

'Funnyman'

I have no strong feelings about Steve Vizard one way or the other - for instance - but when he was in trouble over Telstra etc and then burgled by Nice Pete he was in the news a lot and I developed very strong feelings about the members of the fourth estate who described him as a 'funnyman' or a 'tv funnyman'. They were not feelings of warmth.

'Telco'

As far as I'm concerned, the only Telco worth talking about is the one that sang 'Rock me Amadeus'. I have no time for that ridiculous fabrication, the 'telco', which is to say, 'a telephone company'. When these people come home and the lights don't work, do they say to their partner, 'did you pay that bill from the elco?' no, they don't, because they don't have a 'partner', because no-one can bear to be in theirco for any period of time.

And while I'm being a little grim ball of grey - grumpy! Can I just say:

I cannot for the life of me imagine how Ukraine did not win Eurovision.

No comments: