100 things you probably already deduced about me

1. The first novel I ever read was George by Agnes Sligh Turnbull. I was 6 or 7
2. I didn’t learn to drive till I was 35
3. I was a gonzo journalist at 16 when I took up a career graffitiing trains late at night so I could write an essay about it for English.
4. I have toured the US four times with three different bands
5. I was once the features editor for Smash Hits
6. The first time I saw colour television (in 1974) I told my dad I could watch anything at all on television as long as it was in colour
7. I am married to an artist
8. Our house is filled with beagle paraphernalia – none of which we purchased ourselves, except the beagle-shaped handbag I bought Mia at the Royal Melbourne Show
9. I was playing drums for ten years before I learnt to do a kick drum beat other than just bang-bang-bang-bang (sorry for the jargon).
10. I really love going to the Royal Melbourne Show
11. I believe everything Fran Gibson tells me.
12. The writer who has most influenced my own approach to writing is George Orwell.
13. My favourite ever film is Make Mine Mink. It was made in 1960 and stars Terry-Thomas, Hattie Jacques, Athene Seyler, Elspeth Duxbury and Kenneth Williams has a one-scene cameo (probably not really a cameo as he wasn’t a star then). It is about a group of cohabiting middle-aged-to-elderly upper middle class people who start stealing mink coats (hence the title) for the thrill of it, donating the proceeds to charity. You will be surprised to hear that some of the humour is a little outdated. I read somewhere that there was an American remake where they all die at the end and go to heaven. I hope never to see that.
14. My favourite record of all time is Soldier Talk by the Red Crayola. I can’t see that will ever change, it’s been that way since 1982. Runners up include Mayo Thompson’s Corky’s Debt to His Father, The Laughing Clowns’ Mr Uddich Smuddich, Myrth’s Myrth, Troyka’s Troyka, The Human League’s Travelogue, We Ragazzi’s Wolves with Pretty Lips and New Estate’s Is it Real.
15. The only time I haven’t voted Labor since I was old enough to vote was a time when I voted for someone who appeared more left wing. I now regret it, because I was so uninformed.
16. My favourite TV show is It’s Garry Shandling’s Show. I still laugh remembering bits of that program.
17. I can’t do crosswords or sudoku but frankly I consider them a waste of time
18. I forget appropriate words under stress. This makes my public speaking a little odd and of course more stressful.
19. I have lived in Melbourne a total of 28 years out of 41. The other time was spent in Sydney, and a total of 1½ years in Britain for some reason.
20. I had a ticket to see the last show the Birthday Party played but left before they came on because the scene was shit.
21. My PhD thesis was about the promotion of town planning, plans and planners in interwar Australia. I have recently been urged to make it into a book and may try, yet again, to do so.
22. As a child I was way into early 20th century comic strips like Krazy Kat, the Katzenjammer Kids, The Yellow Kid, And Her Name was Maud! and so on.
23. I really need to have good socks on to have a good day.
24. I much, much prefer Mighty Mite to Vegemite. In fact Vegemite is my least favourite mite.
25. I was raised an atheist
26. I’m usually pretty impressed by celebrity if it’s someone I’ve actually heard of.
27. Many people believe me to be rude when they first meet me. Who knows why. I’m just trés cool I suppose.
28. Like my paternal grandfather, now deceased, I am a hoarder and I am impractical around the house. We also both served in World War 2.
29. I have been a vegetarian since about a week after I turned 18 thanks largely to a girl called Oonagh who talked me into it and who I never saw again.
30. I lost my first wedding ring in the Indian Ocean a few months after getting married.
31. I am partial to felafel
32. I like hot foods.
33. I would not want to live in any other country aside from Australia though New Zealand and perhaps some eastern European countries hold some attractions (but I’ve never been to eastern Europe)
34. I like to draw
35. I have been a participant in the recording of 22 albums, two of which have not been released. Sales of all have been meagre.
36. My only published book to date has been revised once and printed five times, including an Italian translation, and even that wasn't really a success.
37. My next book will be issued later in the year, hopefully. I fully expect it to have no common readership with the first and to sell about twenty copies. I make no royalties so whatever.
38. I am a keen viewer of Neighbours.
39. As a boy I enjoyed the novels of Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
40. I once got in an argument with Wendy James about whether Transvision Vamp’s record company would let them release an album of Gregorian chants or not. She said they would, by the 8th album (they only released three, two if you don't count the one that wasn't released).
41. I have been known to annoy the hell out of my spouse but that’s marriage (unto me) I suppose
42. I ran out of things I wanted to say about myself about 20 things back.
43. I am pretty squeamish
44. I went to Monash University for six months in 1983 and dropped out because I didn’t think it was relevant. Ha! Ha!
45. I am a good hater, and hate about four people. One of these people I have hated for 31 years and still hate him very strongly. My hate did not abate when I heard he had lost an arm, and nor did I grow reflective about it when I discovered this rumour was not true. I feel I have every right to hate this person (and the others) and will continue to do so. I do not become consumed.
46. I am a light sleeper, in that I will wake up at the slightest sound, but I will also go back to sleep if another sound does not soon follow. Like a dog.
47. My parents separated when I was 14 or so and divorced about five years later probably
48 I have five brothers and sisters: a brother, a sister, two half-sisters, and my half-sisters’ half-sister.
49. There is an absurd symmetry to my parents and their siblings, however. My father has one older brother, my mother has one younger sister. My father’s brother has two daughters, my mother’s sister has two sons. I think there is more to it but I can’t remember right now. Maybe that’s good enough.
50. I never liked U2…
51. Meatloaf…
52. Or Elvis Presley.
53. I think the Bee Gees were wonderful, especially in the late 1960s-early 1970s.
54. I love Canberra.
55. I think Throbbing Gristle’s ‘Something Came Over Me’ is incredibly clever.
56. As a child I did not want to eat.
57. I seriously suggested painting our floorboards black.
58. I have seen every Woody Allen film except the most recent one – and that has always been the case since Interiors.
59. I don’t much like staying up late and as I age I find it harder to stay awake. I do like getting up early.
60. I really can’t stand 4WDs, smoking and right-wingers, probably in that order.
61. My parents argued for a long time about what to call me and so I had no name in April 1965. The name they finally opted for was the most popular one for boys in Australia in almost every year of the 1960s.
62. I can’t drink alcoholic lemonade – it pains me. Fortunately they probably don’t make it any more.
63. I don’t suffer fools gladly, but it’s alright because I do suffer them.
64. I have three nieces and two nephews, and I don’t see enough of any of them for my liking.
65. The three greatest pop songs ever, in my opinion, are ‘All You Want to do is Dance’, ’18 with a Bullet’ and ‘Hey St Peter’.
66. If I could learn another language, I would choose Korean.
67. If I could learn two languages, the second would be German which I studied a little in the late 70s.
68. I think Robert Crumb is a total genius. Though he probably corrupted my world view in some respects. And enlightened me in others.
69. I think all recreational drugs should be legalised, but (and because?) their legality or otherwise has no impact on my interest in taking them.
70. I think myself very lucky to have many – though not too many – good friends.
71. My favourite punk groups are either the Saints or Subway Sect
72. An adage I adhere to often is ‘near enough is good enough’. I genuinely believe this to be true, in answer to your question, Kathryn Clarke.
73. I am very slightly partly Jewish, and very slightly partly Norwegian (there are Knorpps in there).
74. I am right into railways
75. I love a bit of coconut
76. Todd Rundgren is very important to me
77. I have a lot of old videos
78. I believe in a good spice collection
79. I have been told I can write quite funny
80. I think space travel is completely overrated
81. I have not had a full-time job since 1992, except for a disastrous couple of months at a share registry software firm in 1996.
82. I don’t have much time for mysticism
83. I have seen every episode of Buffy except the third last one
84. I see few flaws in the oeuvre of Dave Graney and Clare Moore
85. I hope never to sail anywhere for a long period of time in a boat, or to climb a sodding mountain.
86. Pornography holds about as much interest for me as sport. i.e. I can force a bit of interest in something most people seem to regard as on par with oxygen because it’s a phenomenon. But I don’t care to indulge.
87. I have some really good shirts, I particularly like the Fletcher Jones ones.
88. For a while there I would get pretty emotional about Elegant Rabbit, but I think I’m in control now.
89. Andy Warhol – don’t care much. Except as a phenomenon.
90. The earliest dream I can remember is when dinosaurs attacked Kew and an old lady wouldn't let me hide in her shop. Probably a dream about being born?
91. Don’t mind rain, don’t like hot weather
92. Polish folk (music)
93. Hate the light fitting in our sitting room.
94. Bad with money, but luckily, could be worse.
95. Poor memory, or did I mention that.
96. Favourite bands of the last, say, ten years (you know – NOW) include New Estate, The Yips, We Ragazzi, Panel of Judges, royalchord, Flywheel etc
97. Mia introduced me to singlets and now I feel naked without
98. When I am trying to think of things, names of silly cartoon characters I have invented come into my head: ‘Cranston Appleby’, ‘Glowus and Buggy’, ‘Bob Cat and Tipper’
99. Re: (86) I am OK with Aussie rules for some reason. Must be something in the water.
100. Never had my wisdom teeth out. Neither did either of my parents (yet).