Thursday, April 16, 2020

worst problem ever

So I guess the lesson is, whatever you expect, don't expect it, just expect that your measly mind won't be up to imagining what will actually happen.
What worried me was that Nancy would be hostile to Helmi. What never occurred to me was that Helmi would bond with me, essentially (presumably as the Feeder) and be antagonistic to Nancy. Or, that Nancy would just choose to retreat under those circumstances. 
Well, I'm still hopeful that this will pass and that Helmi will not be eternally hostile (I don't know what I'll do if this is still a problem in, you know, five years) but all I'm going to say right now is, that's weird. 
Perhaps I should go and stay in a hotel for a few days and they can work it out amongst themselves Lord of the Flies style. 

* Helmi is a little fucked up, which is what you get with a rescue cat, they tend not to show up with too much optimism and bliss. The flat across the way is being mildly renovated I think in preparation for new tenants, and so someone is tapping away with a hammer over there - I assume that's what it is. Helmi was sitting next to me (Nancy is at the end of the bed - poor Nancy - but at least they sniffed and did not hiss, so I feel things are improving) and when she heard the tapping not only did she get flustered she started growling and pacing the room, even a second ago hiding under the cupboard.
Both of these cats get freaked out by external noise and I think in a way they never really feel secure, or perhaps they feel secure briefly and then something happens and they are like 'god, I was an idiot! Now there's tapping! What was I thinking!' but I note that neither of them seems to think I can protect them in any way, which is probably more what cats are like - individualists - than anything special about these two, though I have certainly known cats who will run to their owners for safety. Dogs and humans, with their understanding of and dependence on hierarchies, are so different though.

** It would be hard for me to deny that one of the four or five books I'm presently reading is Lol Tolhurst's memoir from a few years ago, so I won't. I'll tell you more about it if you want.

*** Yes this is my bed. Yes I am in bed, we are all on the bed. Is that OK. 

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