blood test

I am writing this from the waiting room at Dorevitch pathology where I sit with six others, five of them older than me, all of them sure here for something much more serious than what I don’t have (two weeks ago, I had a blood test for the usual cholesterol thing, and it showed a high level of potassium, which my doctor thought probably suggested that when they were taking my blood it percolated a little above the tourniquet, which apparently heightens the potassium presence; he’s got me to have a second test just in case). The waiting room is a nothing shopfront with a monster tv in it which is broadcasting Sunrise. There’s Kochy, with two people in cow costumes behind him. I see James Reyne is going to be on the Morning Show this morning. Sunrise is showing a ‘time-lapse’ video of a model being zhouzhed for a photoshoot, which I saw on facebook yesterday, and which they apparently now feel is a news item. (‘Former Aussie Vogue editor dishes dirt’).

This morning on RRR’s Breakfasters I heard an inspired ten (?) minute discussion about the advisability of people having two mouths. The underlying premise was that as people have two eyes and two nostrils, they should also have two mouths, for symmetry but also because we have so many functions associated with the mouth (in fact, I can think of at least three core functions, and a lot of secondaries). I guess the elephant in the room is that really, all we are is a mouth, or at least, that’s how we started. Sometimes I think maybe all I am is a mouth.

I see that the notion that WA may have to have an entire new senate election because 1300 ballot papers are missing only makes a tickertape along the bottom of the screen on Sunrise, but the news that Kyle and Jackie O are leaving whatever the radio station they are at, is a News Flash. Why on earth is that even worth my commenting on, I know that’s how this world works.

Things are going extremely slowly here at Dorevitch Pathology this morning and I have a feeling that while three people (at least, plus a friend of one of the of the people waiting) have been added, no-one’s gone through the system yet, after about ten minutes. It’s because they’re fermenting all that potassium in people’s arms. (There is a general muttering in the waiting room about the man who’s running the show here today, ‘he’s slow, he’s slow’).

I haven’t eaten since last night of course which is a hassle – and yesterday of course all I had was my usual 14 bananas, so… I am thinking I may go and eat at the Silver Sage, still my favourite Glenroy café (sorry Dairy Queen, I do owe you a visit again).

Now we are on the Morning Show. Phone Hacking Scandal – 6 year affair between Brooks and deputy revealed (R Brooks/ A Coulson). Back in the waiting room, two people, a man and a woman, are complaining about the younger generation. Now they’re complaining about Clive Palmer (who’s on tv right now), his weight and the likelihood of him having a heart attack in parliament (laughter). On tv they keep calling him ‘Clive’. ‘It’s the rich against us actually,’ says the woman in the waiting room, who I would put at about Lou Reed’s age. Then some bikies come up on the tv. ‘They’re bad, they’re bad’ she says. I don’t think these two people know each other. She is anglo-Australian, he is I think of Italian background.

One elderly gentleman leaving told us all things were going slow today because the vampires are very hungry. General laughter… number 5 is going through. I am number 7, so very excited (don’t entirely understand though because I am sure there were quite a few more between me and satisfaction).

Now James Reyne is on, it’s Flashback Friday. He’s fairly well preserved. Apparently he’s put out 13 solo albums.

I almost miss my turn because my number is called out so quietly and they are very keen to move to the next number but I get in. The nurse (Tina) apologises a few times. She is very cautious about how to proceed. She asks if I am nervous about having my blood taken and I obviously shrug too hard as she apologises and says she just has to ask. She makes me read my name and date of birth off the tube after and the blood looks all crystallized in the tube, which is weird, but I don’t look too hard. 

(4/11 update: the second test showed my potassium level was normal. Or alternatively, the second test was flawed and the first one is still valid. What is potassium anyway?)