Being ghosted is something that I'm pretty sure never really happened to me until about five years ago. There were times when people got the shits with me and, you know, unfriended me on fb or something, but they usually came back (or I didn't notice). But more recently I have had a few people completely absent themselves from my world. Three cases spring to mind. One is a woman who I eventually realised wanted a romance with me, I was unaware, until a mutual friend started talking with me about her using the assumption that we were having a romance - so - I don't know what was going on there. That woman was a bit juvenile I think, the last conversation (?) we had was when she said 'someone just told me something about you', like, what? She wouldn't tell me and we haven't spoken since. I thought we were good friends, but whatever, it's not really that important to me or something I think about a lot.
The other one is actually hurtful, though I'm open to imagining it's not anything to do with me, really, but more likely other stuff going on. This was someone I have known since the 1980s, on and off, and who I always felt very close to. Complete as they say 'radio silence' since 2023, possibly a little earlier, we weren't in frequent contact but we could always pick up where we left off. I am baffled, but finally, what can you do? If someone doesn't want to talk to you, they don't. I am not even really imagining that somewhere down the line I will get an explanation, even from a third party. This person is apparently not dead, at least, it just occurred to me to google them and they are still listed in a position in their workplace.
I think one reason I am bothered is that it's not just one but two connected people. The person mentioned above has a friend, who I was also quite friendly with, most recently we had a good time in 2019, I think, and once again while we weren't in constant contact, we could be, anytime, I thought. But nah. So with the two of them not talking to me, I guess I am wondering if it's me... or just circumstances. So yeah I guess it's a double edged sword of not knowing, but that is probably secondary to: I'm worried about both those people insofar as, are they OK?! There's also the distinct possibility that I have deeply offended one or both of them, but I really don't know how that could have happened. Offended to the degree that I don't deserve to be told to fuck off, just 'you know what you've done' kind of thing... Idk.
This is a stupid post because I am going so far away from giving any interesting detail because I don't think they would want to be even slightly identified. Look, it's not an obsession for me but it is bothersome sometimes. A lot of people come and go in your life. A few weeks ago I got inveigled into a conversation with friends about another friend who had apparently dissed me considerably, the conversation assumed I knew this but I didn't at all, but I examined my feelings and realised I didn't care much at all - you know - that's someone else's trip. But the people I'm talking about above were, I thought, sympathique. I guess not though. Or something went terribly wrong. What do you think?
It's probably something that happens amongst people in their 50s-60s. I suppose I better get used to it. People of my generation will cut me off or, they'll start dying.*
*Again. I knew a few people who died from heroin 30+ years ago.
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