songs

 

I may even have posted this stupid picture before, it has no special value, I just hate seeing posts without an image. 

In fact the only thing I really wanted to blog today (aside from: the state government is ridiculously pulling down vintage housing commission buildings to erect new monstrosities and expects patting on the back for it, and also, that there is officially an el niŋo (ok, for some weird reason blogger doesn't have an n with a tilde on it, at least not in this font, I cbf finding how to do it)* coming and that s-u-x sux) is that I've been thinking about my post from I think five years ago (jesus, so much amazing stuff has happened since then) when I said I had written a song. 

I had, and Alanna and I even played it live, once, the only time I've ever played guitar in public. We wangled a brief spot before an Alastair Galbraith show at the Labor in Vain. It went OK, in a world of no-one had expectations and everyone knew it would be over soon so it was fine. 

But the weird thing now is how things like songwriting just course around my head with a back-and-forth of how much I think about doing it, but also, how much I cannot even remotely imagine anyone would be interested in anything I did in that vein, and 'anyone' even includes myself, and indeed I'm fairly sure no-one at all would find any pleasure in listening to any such thing. 

This is the very definition of self-thwarting thinking, and me writing this down is a way of breaking out of it (I am in roughly the same boat with my second graphic novel, though I have moved forward a little with that).  Really, I should play music not with the intention of presenting it to anyone specifically, but because it's really good for me mentally, by which I mainly mean brain, but possibly also attitude. 

*update a few minutes later: I just read an article about it and now I know there is no tilde on it anyway

update a day later: then I saw another article on the same general topic in the Guardian and they use a tilde