another spam poem

chaser 2c a week later

Personally if I was Amanda Duthie and I was presiding over the Chaser’s 2009 season I would be flummoxed by its amazing unfunniness this time around. I was wondering after the first episode whether this was because we don’t have the Howard government anymore, or maybe the show has been too successful or something. So if I was Amanda Duthie I’d be thinking ‘god, anything goes here, why isn’t it funny anymore? Maybe a skit about dying children making “realistic” wishes is funny, who knows.’ I am not entirely sure what the Chaser’s crime was with that skit, since it wasn’t really poking fun at dying children per se, but more at smarmy celebrities and perhaps by extension the false idea that going to a theme park or meeting a celebrity is compensation for having a serious or terminal illness. The fine points of it are probably not worth going into in any great detail though because basically it wasn’t funny. Perhaps that was Duthie’s biggest mistake – not taking them to task over that important issue. I suppose they were golden boys and they had to push the envelope etc so everyone was under pressure.

Then Ruddy has to weigh in with his child pornography face and you think maybe we really do still have the Howard government. Then Gordon Ramsay calls someone a lesbian and we all move on. I have a vague idea of who Gordon Ramsay is, he’s someone of no consequence, but who’s the person he called a lesbian? Someone I can’t place at all. This is grumpy old man territory. Taking pride in having no knowledge of aspects of popular culture. I resisted that for a long, long time but it was always inevitable.

I am uncertain what the point was of reducing the show by 2 episodes, who is being punished and what on earth the ABC’s important 2009 scheduling might have to offer. I guess there is a chance that this might mean the remainder of the Chaser eps might be better with material distilled down, though on the evidence of the first few episodes I doubt it. I feel duty bound to point out that, a la Sandra Hall, I have no illusion that I could have done better. Some of the stuff they did on previous seasons of The Chaser was incredible, in case you hadn’t noticed.

ezra

I have been reading Sandra Hall’s 2008 biography of Ezra Norton, a stocky little tome which is at least as much about the times in which Norton was active (50? years within the 20th century; he was born just before the turn of it) as it is about the man himself who remains nonetheless something of an enigma. A lot of things bother me about this book, not many of which have much to do with the book itself, though I do have my complaints, which I have to admit are probably more related to my own historical interests than they are to Hall’s account of Norton’s life.
Ezra Norton was a newspaper publisher and editor, who ran successful tabloid newspapers in Sydney. One of Hall’s initial issues, and you don’t need to be a historian to sympathise with her here, is that she didn’t actually have much to go on in terms of personal papers. Ezra Norton – possibly because his father John was famously such a notorious famous violent alcoholic and by all accounts a complete shit – was a relatively private man who took pains to cover up his private life. Yet Ezra was a public figure, and there is entirely no doubt that he enjoyed an ongoing ‘public life’ insofar as he was responsible for literature that made its way into millions of people’s lives on a daily basis.

One thing that bothers me about this book is that I didn’t know it had been published until I saw a copy on a remainder table at my local shopping centre. It may have been under-publicised though I am notorious (in my own mind) for being unable to concentrate on the weekend papers as they annoy me so much with their glib prescriptiveness so it is perfectly possible that I passed over a review.

Another thing that bothers me is that, while it was probably a good idea of Hall’s to spend pages contextualising Norton’s life with events of the time, the general lack of knowledge of Australian history that this implies/ that makes this necessary is highly irritating. Still, no point in griping about that I suppose, and in any case after a fashion I arguably benefit from that personally (because history teaching is a string on my bow).

What bothers me the most however – and this seems to be more and more of a gripe of mine and may be one of the keys to the grumpy old man phenomenon – is the lack of mention of two things I know something about, and which are entirely ignored in Hall’s text. A sensible person with perspective would say, well, that’s because my in-depth knowledge of these special things are entirely distorting my perspective if not my perception of their importance to the narrative. There’s probably a little McDonalds-style inner know-it-all inside me jumping up and down and saying ‘I know! I know! Me! Me!’ as well, the way kids in primary school with answers would emphatically shoot their hands in the air like a nazi salute. But then you also think that perhaps these are important things that shouldn’t be missing from the Hall book. If you’re reading this, Sandra, you’ve got a very good handle on Ezra Norton but there are at least two facts-events missing:

(1) Grant Hervey spent two or three (can’t remember) years in jail for trying to blackmail John Norton’s wife, i.e. Ezra Norton’s mother. Hervey went into prison a maverick and a criminal and came out unhinged and spent another ten years of his life being a walking disaster to everyone. Hervey was a bad poet and a crappy prose writer and even if the blackmail trial/ imprisonment is something that happened to Hervey, not the Nortons, still (a) Hervey knew Mrs. Norton and since Hall goes into quite a bit of detail about another public/controversial insinuation of infidelity, here’s another aspect to the Nortons’ tempestuous marriage that deserves a little coverage (b) the whole fiasco was heavily publicised so… that’s important, to (or in) my mind. (2) Boofhead. R B Clark invented Boofhead and it ran in an Ezra Norton newspaper. The story about Boofhead often published, never proven is that Clark, who worked in the railways, went to his editor (Norton?) at some stage and said he thought he should take drawing lessons and the editor wouldn’t hear of it. Boofhead is, well, less of an important figure these days though he did have a life of his own after Clark’s death in the early 1970s (and the termination of the comic strip) through the work of Martin Sharp, etc. So I think that’s a valid thing to bring up, in terms of Norton’s contribution to the culture. Hall has her own narrative to pursue which has to be respected; she’s more interested in the troubles Norton experienced in actually gaining government permission to publish a new newspaper during the Second World War and it’s true, that’s interesting. But I’ve read through the first issues of that paper and it was definitely a mass appeal tabloid, just like the publication the Nortons were famous for, Truth. Its comics were a part of that important element.

It would be nice to wrap this up with some kind of stylistic so there but ultimately I support Sandra Hall’s right to publish a book on any aspect of Ezra Norton she pleases. I suppose I have made a slightly patronising assumption that she probably didn’t know about the Hervey thing and found the Boofhead bit irrelevant. The biography is very readable anyway. My grandfather was a journalist in Melbourne in the 30s and Sydney in the 40s and 50s and then Melbourne again till his retirement. I wish I’d discussed it more with him though it also has to be said he did not have an objective perspective on it and why would he.

A week later PS: The only time Ezra Norton was ever happy - the one time - was when he spent a train trip singing show songs with his wife. Later, he lost his temper again.

etc

How am I feeling today? Cheap Candy - Shaft Will I get far in life? Blush - Wa Wa Nee How do my friends see me? What You Know - Mum Smokes When will I get Married?Dot Dash - Wire What is my best friend's theme song? Carpe et Diem - royalchord What is the story of my life? Bodysnatcher Blues - Dave Graney What was high school like?Faith Healer - Sensational Alex Harvey Band How am I going to get ahead in life? Game of Numbers - The Native Cats What is the best thing about me? It's so obvious - WireHow is today going to be?Out the door at last - The Yips What is in store for this weekend? Highly Strung - The Rustlers What song describes my parents? Silver Thread - royalchord What song describes your grandparents?Honky Tonk Rope a Dope - Dave Graney How is my life going?Half Past One - CanWhat song will they play at my funeral?House Music - Mum Smokes How does the world see me?Not One of the Boys - Mum Smokes
Will I have a happy life?Carried Away - Split Enz What do my friends really think of me?Get Behind Me - Scott Walker

sooo 2007.2

Here are the instructions:1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.4. NO CHEATING.

Q: What does next year have in store for you? Japan in Paris in LA - The Red Crayola Q: What does your love life look like next year?Goodbye Girls - Broadcast Q: What do you say when life gets hard?I'm gonna be fine - We Ragazzi Q: Song that reminds you of good times?Prinsen Doppler - Etienne Charry (nb this song goes for 18 seconds, just like the good times) Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning? Water Down - The Native Cats Q: What song will you dance to at your wedding? Bubble - Red House Painters Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?A Little Lost - Arthur Russell Q: Your favourite saying?Night Falls - Neil Tennant Q: Favourite place?Health and Girls - Mum Smokes Q: Most Missed Memory? Shock Me - Red House Painters Q: What song describes your best friend? Wonderful Baby - Don McLean Q: What song describes your ex?Ladyflash - The Go! Team Q: Where would you go on a first date?Some Fish - Mum Smokes Q: Drug of choice?When I Dream - royalchord Q: What song describes yourself?Namnlöst spår 3 - The Go! Team Q: What is the thing you like doing most? Message Boy - Split Enz Q: The song that best describes the president?Crazy as a Loon - Lobby Loyde with Sudden ElectricQ: Where will you be in 10 years?Mistress - Red House Painters Q: Your love life right now? I Want Butterflies (all the time) - We Ragazzi Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?A higher Power - Jens Lekman Q: How will you die?Patience a Deux - The Yips

sooo 2007

After you read this meme, you have to do it, too.

If your life were a soundtrack, what would the music be?

Here’s how it works:
1. open your library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod)
2. put it on shuffle
3. press play
4. for every section, type the song that’s playing
5. next section — press the next button
6. don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool

opening credits: Full Moon on the Highway - Can waking up: Hard was Anne - Pink Flamingoes (that, by the way, makes no sense) first day at school:True Love Will Find You - Tracey Readfalling in love:When Young Lovers Have No Place to Go - We Ragazzibreaking up:
Jour J - Etienne Charry (that also, by the way, makes no sense)prom:Midnight Lines - royalchordlife’s okay:Boards of Canada - Stereolabmental breakdown:Letter Bomb - Red Crayoladriving:One Day - Wa Wa Neeflashback:Pyromaniac - The Verlainesgetting back together:Strike - Todd Rundgrenwedding:Champs - Wirebirth of child:Perdue au Telephone - Etienne Charryfinal battle:Vernal Equinox - Candeath scene:Half Mast - Empire of the Sunend credits:Tender Buttons - Broadcast

new news

I was telling students this a decade ago. I guess I should have told ninemsn, whatever that is.