1. The Rest of Quiglet
When you comet o
To find you’ve always
Been as tar
Stuck to the hot sole
As tar ters pistol
Finds you gone
1.
A. Schiegel by his keyboard with a telephone on the floor.
B. THEN…
C. Phone: Ring Ring
D. Schiegel goes to answer it
E. Schiegel: Schiegel residence/ Yes this is he
F. Miss Carleton: Schiegel
G. Schiegel Is that you Miss Carleton what a lovely surprise
H. Miss Carleton: I have a job for you, my dear man, should you choose to take it/ (with musical notes) Do you have much on?
2.
A. Schiegel: Not a lot
Miss Carleton (on phone) Ooh la la!
B. Miss Carleton: Well hold that thought lover boy meanwhile the foul wretches at Screen Gems want to utilize your talents
C. [Soon] (Schiegel in his car driving through town)
D. (Reception) Schiegel: Schiegel to see Mr Lomax
Receptionist: He’s expecting you
E. Receptionist: Go right in/ Yeah/ Plz
F. Schiegel: Lomax
Lomax: Shiegel thank you for coming in at such short notice.
Schiegel: Not a problem
G. Lomax: I’d like you to meet Geraldo Impertinu
Impertinu: Mr Schiegel!
3.
A. Impertinu: No doubt you are aware of the Quiglet, no? / Yes the movie series of the Quiglet./I have the honour to create it again for television / But… it needs the music! / The music!
B. Impertinu: The music it must be jaunty yet young/ Severe yet bold/ Of the street/ Yet suitable for a princess’s penthouse party/ Audrey Hepburn yet Katherine Hepburn yet a wild factory carnival
4.
A. Impertinu: The music my little mother made the week before she die.
B. Lomax: $75 and episode, and a hundred for the theme song. Deal?
Schiegel: Deal
C. Schiegel: I look forward to working with you Mr Impertinu / Sorry about your mother
D. Impertinu: Eh? / Oh the bitch / She live
E: SOON
F: Schiegel playing keyboard, it makes musical note. Schiegel: Hmm
G. Schiegel (singing): What d’you call a 5-legged piglet?
H. Schiegel (singing): A baby swan’s a cygnet… a baby twig’s a… um…/ No!
(Pot plant falls from keyboard)
5. A. Pot: Smash
B. Schiegel: Damn it
C. Schiegel (playing piano again): Hmm…
D. [SIX MONTHS LATER]
E. Elyse: Napeel Wait up!
F. Elyse: Napeeel!
G. Napeel: Oh/ Hello Elyse
H. Elyse: You said you’d walk me home today
6. A. Napeel: And so we’re walking
B: Elyse: Are you going to do anything fun tonight Napeel?
C. Napeel: Oh, ‘fun’? Yeah I’ll have fun. / Snort
D: Elyse: Yeah? Are you gonna watch the t. v.
Voice off (Bobo): Hey! Napeel! Who’s your friend/ She’s hott!
Voice off 2: Ha ha
E: Napeel: Get bent/ Don’t even talk to me Bobo
F: Bobo: Ha ha/ Truth hurts/Moll!
Boy 2: Ha ha stinks
7. A. Bobo: Boo hoo don’t talk to me boo hoo
Boy 2: Stinks
B. Elyse: Who even was that
Napeel [fume]
C. Elyse: Do you know those boys?
D: Elyse: They were so rude to us.
E: Napeel: Please just change the subject Elyse
Elyse: OK
F. Elyse: There are new shows on TV tonight!
G. Elyse: Channel 7 has ‘Robot Country’
H. Elyse: Channel 9 has ‘Adventures of Kreemy Pudding’
I. Elyse: And Channel 0 has
J: Elyse: ‘The Rest of Quiglet’/ Which one will you watch, Napeel?
8. A. Elyse: ‘Robot C…
Napeel: The last one.
Elyse: Me too!
B. [LATER…]
C. Elyse: Can I eat my dessert in front of the T. V. Mrs Lane?
D. Mrs Lane: What would your parents say, Elyse?
Elyse: They’d say yes
E. Mrs Lane (thinks): Sigh
F. Mrs Lane: Then/Yes
G. Elyse in front of television
H. Television: [Now]
I. (Title) The rest of Quiglet
J. (Theme song) A girl called Quiglet/ Can appear at any minute/ Like a pot plant breaking on the floor/ Or a naked woman on the telephone
9. A. [Starring]
B. (Theme Song): Just as there may be/ A wild factory carnival somewhere/ And death is in the streets/ But love is above and around.
C. [Grace Mannix as Quiglet]
D. (Theme Song): Quiglet’s just a girl but what a girl!/ She never rests/ She has a dog, a bird, a Daddy and a robot maid! Robot!
E. [Patrick Delisle as Danny]
F. [Jane Hemingway-Pye as Billie]
G. [Rod Sims as Daddy]
H. [and ‘Biltong’ as Suzy Sprocket].
10 (all on TV)
A. [Establishing shot of house]
B. Daddy: Quiglet! Quiglet!
C. Daddy Quiglet!
Quiglet: Yes Daddy
D. Daddy: Have you seen my new glasses?
E. Quiglet: Daddy we had this conversation/ Yes I have
F. Quiglet: And they do not suit you [laughter]
G. Daddy: But I need them to read!
Quiglet: Do you want to read or do you want to look good [laughter]
H. Suzy Sprocket: Klik – Teenagers – Klik [laughter]
11.
A. Elyse (thinks): Quiglet looks a bit like Napeel/ In the antlers anyway
B. Mrs Lane: That robot is very sassy
C. Elyse (thinks): Where did you learn a fancy word like that
D. Mrs Lane: I was sassy myself in my day
E. Mrs Lane: You’re lucky I lost my sass
F. Mrs Lane: Else I’d sass you good Elyse
12.
A. Lomax [on phone]: So if we get both episodes done before she goes on break…
B. Schiegel [on phone]: Makes sense/ I think I can do it
C. Lomax [on phone]: It will be tight.
D. Schiegel [on phone]: There can be no mistakes. No room for…
E. Lomax [on phone]: (giggle)/no room for error
F. Schiegel [on phone]: (laugh) I won’t let you down.
G. Lomax [on phone]: (laughing loudly) You will need to come on set!
13 (all on TV)
A. [Establishing shot of house]
B. Suzy Sprocket: Klik - Ms Quiglet! You have water in your eye Klik!/Did you spill your soda klik?
C. Quiglet: Oh Suzy Sprocket/ I’m just sad
D. Suzy: What is sad?
E. Quiglet: It’s something silly… teenagers feel sometimes/ I’m missing my mom
F. Suzy: Klik Missing? Like when your Daddy try to hit the golf ball? Klik [laughter]
G. Quiglet: No, missing – like – I wish she wasn’t dead. [audience hush]
H. Suzy Sprocket: Klik – Who do you wish dead? I am enabled to kill! – Klik [laughter]
14.
A. Schiegel standing in corner taking notes
B. Ace: You thinking what I’m thinking, Schiegel?
C. Schiegel: I doubt it, Ace. I’m thinking a bass run under this dialogue
D. Ace: What… wow! / Our conversation? / You’re scoring it?
E. Schiegel [eye roll]: Under the conversation on the show.
F. Ace: Man, this show. Man!
G. Ace: It sucks like the final drag on a sweet doobie.
H. [Sees Grace Mannix] But that Mannix! /What a honey.
15.
A. Impertinu: This… how to leave from this.
B. Raydot [consulting script]: Well, Daddy comes in with a pie.
C. Impertinu: Is that real? / My Daddy hated pie.
D. Raydot: It leads to the whole pie and cream storyline, Impy
E. Impertinu: Do you feel it? / Do you?
F. Raydot: I… Who’s that?
16.
A. Raydot: Excuse me, do you work here?
B. Schiegel: Sure, Raydot, we’ve spoken four or five times today
C. Raydot: I’m Raydot, Mr. Impertinu’s continuity. We’re looking for someone to insert here
D. Raydot: Just knock on the door, and come in with the pie
E. [Door] Knock Knock
F. Quiglet (drying eyes): Who could that be?
17.
A. [Door opened on Schiegel] Schiegel: I… I have the pie
B. Their eyes meet.
C. Impertinu: CUT!
D. Impertinu: That was the best I have ever… everybody! / everybody!
E. Impertinu: You have just witnessed born a star.
18.
A. Impertinu: I want him under contract
Raydot: He already works here. The music.
B. Impertinu: He is perfect. In every way. / I love the music.
C. Raydot: Can you come back tomorrow?/ We need more you this episode.
D. Schiegel: I have a studio date/ Music for the two…
E. Raydot: This is more important
F. Ace: I know a musician.
19.
A. Elyse: Napeel
B. Elyse: Napeel!
C. Elyse: I said have you heard the Suzy Sprocket album?
D. Napeel: I don’t know what that… means
E: Elyse: From The Rest of Quiglet! Suzy Sprocket. She’s made an album!
F. Elyse: You like albums! I do too!
20.
Biltong is… Suzy Sprocket MAID OF TITANIUM
Quiglet Theme
This Wheel’s on Fire
I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Interface
To Circuit With Love
I Want to Hold your Handle
TV Eye
Serve and Destroy
Cog in my Sprocket
And two more!
Klik Groovy Klik!
Conducted by Schiegel
21.
A. Elyse: Napeel, Biltong was a refuggee.
B. Napeel: It’s pronounced refugee.
C. Elyse: They run ball games right?
D. Elyse: They tell people, like ‘that was in’ and…
E. Elyse: They say ‘It’s a goal’ and…? Napeel?
F. Napeel: Leave me alone. Just leave me the frig alone.
22. (all on TV)
A. [Establishing shot of house]
B. Schiegel: Gee, Quiglet. Gee
C. Quiglet: I know Schiegel. Gee.
D. Schiegel: It’s all happened so fast.
E. Quiglet: Too fast? Is it too fast? Because…
F. Schiegel: No, no, not too fast. Just fast enough.
G. Quiglet: I’m glad you think so.
23.
A. Impertinu: End the scene. Camera off.
B. Raydot: Cut!
C. Impertinu: Yes, yes, is the way it should be.
D. Raydot: Schiegel’s people want to renegotiate his contract, Impy.
E. Impertinu: Why are there people. Who needs people?
F. Raydot: He’s basically equal star with Grace now. They make Schiegel dolls, Impy.
G. Impertinu: He should be glad of exposure. My Daddy…
H. I know, Impy. Died of exposure. It’s not what I want to hear.
24.
A. Schiegel and Grace in the conversation pit.
B. They kiss
C. THEN…
D. Phone: Ring Ring
E. Schiegel answers it
F. Schiegel: Schiegel residence/ Yes this is he
G. Miss Carleton: Schiegel
H. Schiegel: Miss Carleton what a lovely surprise
25.
A. Miss Carleton: Is she there?
B. Schiegel: You mean Grace?
C. Miss Carleton: You know who I mean.
D. Schiegel: Then you know that she is.
E. Miss Carleton: I’m pulling you from the show, Schiegel. They’re not agreeing to our needs.
F. Schiegel: The money doesn’t matter Barbara. I have everything I want.
